Countdown to GE Day -- 15 days

It looks as though my General Exam will be occurring on 14 January. The public presentation (my minimum 45 minute talk about why and what I'm doing) will be at 1:00 p.m. Central while the defense of my proposal will start around 2:15 or 2:30 and lasting as long as my committee wants.

Yesterday, I started putting together the presentation. I like making Powerpoints because I like to put in little pictures and slide titles that are humorous -- not to mention, the PP is easy because the hard part (writing the proposal) is pretty much over. An example -- one of my first slides discusses how environmental degradation can have obvious results such as extinction of a population. Next to the list of effects, I have a cartoon dinosaur with x's for eyes lying on his back in dirt with no vegetation.

Today, I will make more slides IF I can stay awake. So far, I keep falling asleep. Trying to work. Really! ::grin::

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Just spending a quiet day at home with the folks. In a bit, I'll probably dive into my new Stephen King, but I just wanted to wish you and yours a happy holiday no matter what or how you celebrate.

What I am today

Part of me loved reading the part about the Ph.D. Part of me now has that 80s feed the Ethiopians song in my head.

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

A good day

Today I woke up to an email from Lupa telling me she will be editing my submission to the anthology "Engaging the Spirit World" in the next month. To quote her email: "Just from a first look, the essay overall is good stuff! I'm probably going to have you tease out some ideas in more detail, but this is a good first draft."

::happy gimp squee::

To tell the truth, I thought it was a crap first draft that would never even make it to the editing stage, and that would have been all my fault because I didn't give myself nearly enough time to do a thorough job. If she still likes it after the second read/editing stage, I will endeavor to make it the best it can be. Imagine me being published in both the science and spiritual venues. Wow.

This afternoon, I visited with my pulmonologist about my random sleeping episodes. His instinct was that I have sleep apnea which is causing me to not rest properly. He wanted to try to get me in to the sleep clinic to do an overnight sleep test, but he didn't think they could get me in before I have to go back to NO to do my General Exam. Then I brought up something my friend Lance (who also has SMA) mentioned to me a few months ago. His youngest sister (who also had SMA) died a few years back from hypercapnia-induced renal failure (at least, that was my take on what he told me). She didn't breathe deeply while asleep and didn't exhale enough carbon dioxide. The kidneys act to help "scrub" CO2 from the blood, and because it took doctors a long time to catch Lori's hypercapnia (excessive blood CO2 levels), her kidneys became too stressed and ultimately failed. I brought this up to Dr. R because I also breathe shallowly while asleep, and he said that he had been thinking about hypercapnia as well. So, we decided to skip the sleep test and go straight for a BiPAP (bilevel positive airway pressure) machine which would be recommended for correcting sleep apnea or hypercapnia, and I don't have to worry about stressing my poor stone-prone kidneys.

Afterwards, we went to Target. I got Christmas presents for Mom and my niece, and I got fun knee high socks and German Black Forest chocolates (dark chocolate squares with a hint of cherry) for myself.

Altogether, a day of accomplishments.

A little drabble

Note: This is the first bit of non-science writing I've done in at least a year and a half. I was looking at a writing prompt site (don't know why, I have too much science writing to do) when I got the idea for this. It's small (just under 4300 words), and it's rough. Be gentle -- my ego is fragile of late.


Lost and Found - by Dawn M. Allenbach
8 December 2008
Original drabble
Rated: G


It was the most unusual "Lost and Found" ad I'd ever seen.

I was in the breakroom, grabbing a Reese's while waiting for some samples to run in the lab, when I saw what looked like a sheet of paper torn from a spiral notebook pinned to the bulletin board. It half-covered the ad for selling Avon that had been hanging there for months, and it looked like it had been written in a child's hand.

Lost - Kindness
Everyone rushes too fast
Please say something nice
to the next person you see

"Well, that's not so hard," I muttered to myself around a bite of peanut butter and chocolate. I walked out of the breakroom with a smile, already planning the nice thing I was going to say while peeling away the rest of the paper from my first Reese's cup. I was chewing happily and not really paying attention as I walked around a corner heading for the elevator. I hit something solid - I hit it hard - and was knocked off my new knee-high boots onto my rear end. Fortunately, the Bureau had required even us lab rats to take self-defense, so I knew how to shift my weight and land on my gluteus maximus and not on my tailbone. It still hurt, though, when I landed with an undignified "Oof!" and my legs sprawled.

"I'm sorry," a pleasant male voice said from somewhere above me. A hand appeared in front of my face, and I put the hand not still holding my candy bar into it. It was a bit hard getting back up onto my three inch heels with the support of only one hand, and I tottered for a moment until another hand caught me around the waist to steady me.

"There you are," the voice said cheerfully. "You're good to go."

I finally looked up into the face of the brick wall, and I nearly choked on the little bit of candy still in my mouth. Of all people to look like a idiot in front of, why did it have to be my Secret Agent Crush?

I must have had a funny look on my face, because he looked me up and down thoroughly from my purple-striped hair to my leather-clad toes before asking, "Are you OK?"

I nodded probably a little too quickly and managed a strangled, "Uh huh." It was the peanut butter stuck in my throat. Really.

He stuck out his hand. "I'm Michael."

"I know," I replied. My brain was all mushy and didn't make me move to shake his hand until he'd already awkwardly taken it back and shoved it in his pocket. "You work serials," was all I could think of to say.

He studied me closely. "You teased apart all those trace and DNA samples on the Chickasaw case last year." I nodded, proudly remembering the two papers I'd gotten out of that case. He smiled. "Wasn't your hair all green then?"

I nodded again, smiling that he remembered. He returned the smile and said, "That was good work . . . ?"

I was so caught up with how the fluorescents played with the blue and green in his eyes that it took me almost ten full seconds to realize he was fishing for my name. "Oh! Um, Polly. My name's Polly."

"Polly." He said it a couple more times, like he was testing the sound of it. "Nice to meet you."

He held out his hand again, and this time I took it. He held it for a few seconds, and I stood there alternating between trying not to laugh like a socially awkward fool and trying to think of something witty to say. My mind showed me the breakroom "Lost" ad again. "I like your tie," I said before I could stop myself. Did I ever mention witty isn't really in my repertoire? As his lips began to crinkle into a smile, I shoved the rest of my Reese's into his hand. "Have my other peanut butter cup," I muttered as I moved quickly past him for the elevator and my safe third floor lab.

I was almost to the lift when I heard, "Hey, Purple Polly!" Dreading the amused look I knew he'd have on his face but dreading more that he'd think me a coward, I turned back even as I reached for the up button. He was smiling, but not in the "she's a geek" way I thought he would be. His dimples were fully on show, and he raised the peanut butter cup to his mouth and asked, "Would you allow me to buy you a cup of coffee later?"

"No," I responded as I stepped into the elevator. I leaned around the door. "I will allow you to buy me a cup of tea, though." His broad smile as he nodded and headed for the breakroom nearly undid my knees.

No, being kind isn't so hard at all.

Music Monday

I'm going to apologize right out of the gate to anyone using dial-up to read this blog, because it has as many videos as I could nab and links to others. You see, today's entry is about music and how it affects our moods, and what better way to try to experience what I'll be talking about than to hear the music? Some of these have an emotional tie that you won't be able to experience, but some of these are all about the lyrics.

Saturday night I spent some time alone with my music, really listening to it and letting myself feel the emotions it invoked rather than it just being background noise while I wrote on the prospectus or made dinner. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and I wanted to share some of those feelings since I've gotten good at bottling things up until I explode. I can group the songs into three basic groups: Songs that Remind Me I'm Not As Cynical as I Wish I Were, Songs of Remembrance, and Songs of Strength and Hope.

Songs that Remind Me I'm Not As Cynical as I Wish I Were
I'm not as cynical as I used to be – and I blame it on the Depo! That darned "feel good" hormone progesterone coursing through my body is turning me into a soft girly girl who cries every time she sees the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial on TV. Though I must admit that it's awfully nice to not have a heavy, soul-draining, irregularly-timed period every month-ish. Here are some tunes that played today that get me thinking about having someone special.

If I Were You, Collin Raye - This one's double listed. For the most part it belongs here because it's a love song, but it's not a cheesy, sappy love song (there's a little cynicism!). Collin Raye sings as part of a couple who's partner has just asked "Where we go from here?" He tells it straight up - he doesn't know ("Is what we have enough to last a whole life through? Who knows, baby, who knows."), but he'd like to figure it out ("I won't promise the moon, but I promise to be here."). The song is about real love, not idealized love. He doesn't know what the future holds, "But what if together it gets better every day?" Well, his answer is simple, really - "If I were you, I'd fall in love with me."


Chances Are, , Martina McBride and Bob Seger - This is a nice duet, and the singers' voices are nicely opposing. Seger's is deep and gravelly while McBride's is higher and smooth. They work well together with Seger's piano. A bit of the song play in the Sandra Bullock/Harry Connick Jr. movie "Hope Floats," and its tone fits really well with the movie in that it's about a love you weren't expecting that works its way subtly into your heart until one day you wake up and go, "Well, hell. I'm in love." It's shown in McBride's verse:

I remember clearly how you looked the night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me feel so at ease
I remember all your grace, your style
And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

It's a sweet song that I like to listen to over and over.


Shiver, Jamie O'Neal - This song is sexy. It's meant to elicit the physical and describe how a person can turn to goo just with a glance from her partner. A verse and the chorus:

I love the way your whisper slowly, softly lingers
in my ear
You move a little lower, the world starts spinning slower
Then it disappears
Your lips so close we kiss almost
Just barely touch, but that's enough to make me
Shiver
Tremble
I never, no I never once felt so much
It shakes me how you take me
Deeper than I've ever been it's to the core under my skin
I shiver

It's hot!





Songs of Remembrance

There You'll Be, Faith Hill - This song was very popular in the months after my sister died, but I didn't pay too much attention to it for quite some time. One night, I was relaxing before bed and just sitting still while listening to music. This song came on, and I really listened to the lyrics. I thought of how, when we were young, my sister and I had always backed each other up and been each other's best friend. "You showed me how it feels to feel the sky within my reach, and I always will remember all the strength you gave to me. Your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you. You were right there for me." I never truly recognized that I had learned a lot about inner strength of my little sister, but I suddenly knew while listening to this song that I hadn't learned enough. With the last lines of the chorus -- "I'll keep a part of you with me, and everywhere I am, there you'll be" -- I promised to keep my sister's strength and optimism with me, especially when it seems all in a situation is lost.




No Frontiers, The Corrs - For my brother's funeral, I made a CD of some of his favorite songs to play while folks gathered for the services. We finally figured out how to make the church's sound system work right before the services began, so the only song that got played was this one that I picked for when we all left the church for graveside services. This was one of our favorite songs when we lived together, and we often played Mary Black's version from a Celtic CD. When Paul discovered The Corrs years later ("It's a group of three hot Irish chicks and their brother" was how he described them), he often commented that he preferred their version over Black's.

In your eyes
Faint as a singing of a lark
But somehow this black night feels warmer for their spark
Warmer for the spark
To hold us ‘til the day when fear will lose its grip
And Heaven has its way
Heaven knows no frontiers
And I’ve seen Heaven in your eyes



My brother moved past any insecurities and fears he may have felt and lived a good life. Would that everyone could.


Faithfully, Journey - I went to the same Muscular Dystrophy Association summer camp from age eight until age twenty-one, and I made some of my best friends there. Every year we had a talent show, and after the show we had a concert from the Airheads, our in-house air band made up of mostly male staff members and a couple of boy campers. We all acted as if we were at a big time concert, screaming and throwing ourselves at the "band" members. It was great fun. The Airheads specialized in "covering" REO Speedwagon, Bryan Adams, and Journey, and every year they performed "Faithfully." This song always puts a smile on my face, and sometimes it makes me cry, because it reminds me of good friends.

Songs of Strength and Hope

If I Were You, Collin Raye - I know I mentioned this song already, but it has two great lines that I need to print and put up near my home and lab computers. "If I were you I'd promise to live life for all it's worth, take all that you've been given and leave your mark upon this Earth." This is what I've been trying to do all my life. I've been trying to push through the stereotypes of disability, to show people (including some in my extended family) that a person in a wheelchair can contribute more to her/his community and the world than having a nice, safe office job. Please be aware that I am not down on office jobs. That's just not what I've been called to do. I'm a scientist, and I refuse to let bad dreams of being "fired" by advisor scare me off.


I Will Be, Lila McCann – This whole song is about believing in yourself, having confidence in yourself, and reaching for as high a goal as you dare. I don't think I can say any more than that. There's no video here, but you can hear the song at least.

I will be here, I will be strong
I'll face my fears when the night is long
And still go on
I will be brave, I will be bold
Follow my faith to a higher road
And I'm not there yet
But I will be

One task down

I submitted the Ford Foundation Diversity Fellowship application at 9:13 p.m. Central, leaving me 47 minutes to spare. I'm really taking a chance with this thing because their focus is ethnic diversity and working in an ethnically diverse space. I have, and I do. Hell, our lab personnel at the moment represents five countries among eight people. I played up that plus the fact that I'm in a wheelchair and only 30% of PWDs in the US are employed and many of those near the poverty line. I also banged on about how one rarely if ever sees a PWD at a scientific conference. The last lines of my personal statement:

"Rarely are PWDs seen in the classroom or laboratory, and almost never are they seen at scientific conferences. I want to change that. I want to be a researcher who does great work that she presents at conferences. I want to be a professor who helps all her students to learn no matter what their backgrounds are. I want to be a mentor who shows by example of her life that a person can do anything s/he wants. I have worked within my own status as a minority to earn scholarships, two degrees, good employment, admission to a Ph.D. program, and a past fellowship; I want to help others have the same successes."

Hopefully they'll give me one of their 35 fellowships.

Now to finish the prospectus and the manuscript -- the latter of which I still have not gotten back from my advisor who said he'd give it to me last Monday.

Birthday Buddies

Happy birthday to my most wonderful mom who is 55 today. I called her at a little after 0700 this morning to sing "Happy Birthday" in my I-just-woke-up-two-minutes-ago voice. Yeah, it was a Grammy winner.

Welcome to the world, Gabriel Alexander! Jonikka left a message on my voicemail about half an hour ago to tell me her and Erik's son had been born at 1:11 p.m. on 11-11. I can't wait to see that natal chart! ::grin:: You're coming into the world at a very interesting time, little one. I can't wait to meet you in person.

Two days of Halloween

Aaarrrrrr! These are from the 30th. Costume put together with stuff I already had.

Front:




Side, to show off my piratey hair tie:






Look! It's a Hummer! It's a tank! It's Supergimp! From the 31st. Thanks to Sarah for making the shirt and to Kim for loaning me my curtain-cape.

Check it out

You have to have to HAVE TO see this photo.

MEH

And that's all I have to say.

It's been a while

Well, life goes on -- even when you lose the majority of your baby fish to a power outage brought on by a hurricane. You get frustrated, you get mildly (or not so mildly) depressed, but you just keep plugging because the alternative -- the big "Q" -- makes you feel like you're going to throw up.

So what have I been up to? I've been analyzing hatching data collected by my assistants which is at times a bit confusing to figure out. I've been working on an essay about how scientists can actually in fact be spiritual that I will submit for consideration by an author who is putting together an anthology on totemism and animism. I need to be working harder on it as it's due on November 1st. I also need to be working harder on my prospectus, the presentation for my General Exam, a fellowship application (since I probably won't be finished by next summer with this latest setback), and a poster abstract for a conference in the spring. The fellowship application and the poster abstract are due by the end of November.

I do my best work under stress.

Around

I'm here.

I'm exhausted.

I'm tickled.

I'm frustrated.

I'm optimistic.

I'm sad.

I'm around.

Sunflowers Make Me Happy

One thing I miss about being in Kansas this time of year is the sunflowers. Not those big monster sunflowers that produce the edible seeds you buy in grocery and convenience stores nationwide, but the smaller, Plains-native sunflowers that grow in unmowed ditches and unplowed fields. There's something about those gold petals surrounding Earth-brown centers atop deep green stems that just makes me smile -- kind of like the way dandelions make me smile in Spring. Sometimes you see one or two alone, subtly pushing against the tameness we humans insist in forcing on Nature. Other times you see them in great bunches, a rowdy horde rebelling against manicured lawns and row crops.

Ah, sunflowers!

Are you serious???

From Anita

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. Afterward, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.

1. Stacy -- My sister.

2. Stinky -- AKA Paul, my brother.

3. Songs -- So much music, so little time.

4. Sweets -- But I refer to my nickname for various pals.

5. Science -- Especially biology, the Earth sciences, and forensic science.

6. Science fiction.

7. Studying a variety of subjects.

8. Spirituality not confined to one path but exploring as much as possible.

9. Silence amidst the twilight.

10. Scotland, though I've never been there.

Birthday Prezzies to Myself

I just ordered these for myself.


Amber and jet earrings with acorn and oak leaf accents





Scottish thistle set with amethyst and aventurine





So pretty, yeah?

Swiped from Jennifer

Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Lupin

Your perfect HP man is Remus Lupin.

You like a nice, kind guy with a bit of a fierce streak and you don't mind if he comes damaged. Sure, he may take some convincing since his self-esteem's so low, but once you win him over, you know he's yours for life. Unless of course he has an attack of "I'm not good enough" and runs away, but luckily he's also good at making friends who will push him back into line if necessary.

(Art by Gold-Seven http://gold-seven.deviantart.com/ Used with permission.)

Take The Harry Potter Husband Test at HelloQuizzy

Webpages for Jessica

At left, I've added two links to webpages that have been created in memory of my friend Jessica. The Blogger page has pictures, and the Facebook page has links to news articles relating to her death.

You never think it will happen to someone you know

I found out a couple of hours ago that a woman I know, Jessica, was stabbed to death in her own home over the weekend. She used to be a grad student here in my department, and she was one of my officemates two years ago. I didn't know her well, but I liked her.

They say if you live in New Orleans long enough, you'll know someone who will be a victim of violent crime. I was hoping I wouldn't live here that long.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Back to NO tomorrow. I'll check in with y'all on Tuesday.

Endoscopy = weird acid trip

Check out Road Hog for a health update.

TV critic (spoilers)

In case you didn't read the title -- SPOILERS!




The return of "EUReKA" on Tuesday: WHOO HOO! It's back! I don't know if Allison getting back together with Stark is the best decision for her, but I've gotten to the point where I don't like the idea of her with Carter, either.

Last night's "Doctor Who" season finale: Wow. I laughed. I cried. It was great. Donna to Jack: "You can hug me now. No, really, you can hug me now." ::giggles:: Our sentiments exactly, dear!

Last night's "Stargate Atlantis": Not one of their better episodes. I mean, what was the point, really? They hopped dimensions a couple of times, John and Ronin got to shoot a couple of bad guys, Rodney figured out how to put the dimension drive in reverse, and they got home. Big deal. I guess I'm so used to every episode having something to do with other episodes that this one just kinda threw me. If it was a set-up for a new idea, it was pretty weak. But we did get to see a bit of Zalenka, so that was nice.

Get real!

I just read this and wanted to share.


Taking The Risk: Permission To Be Real

Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping it real and have an intuitive sense about what that means. People who keep it real don’t hide behind a mask to keep themselves safe from their fear of how they might be perceived. They don’t present a false self in order to appear more perfect, more powerful, or more independent. People who keep it real present themselves as they truly are, the good parts and the parts most of us would rather hide, sharing their full selves with the people who are lucky enough to know them.

Being real in this way is not an easy thing to do as we live in a culture that often shows us images of physical and material perfection. As a result, we all want to look younger, thinner, wealthier, and more successful. We are rewarded externally when we succeed at this masquerade, but people who are real remind us that, internally, we suffer. Whenever we feel that who we are is not enough and that we need to be bigger, better, or more exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we are not enough. Meanwhile, people who are not trying to be something more than they are walk into a room and bring a feeling of ease, humor, and warmth with them. They acknowledge their wrinkles and laugh at their personal eccentricities without putting themselves down.

People like this inspire us to let go of our own defenses and relax for a moment in the truth of who we really are. In their presence, we feel safe enough to take off our masks and experience the freedom of not hiding behind a barrier. Those of us who were lucky enough to have a parent who was able to keep it real may find it easier to be that way ourselves. The rest of us may have to work a little harder to let go of our pretenses and share the beauty and humor of our real selves. Our reward for taking such a risk is that as we do, we will attract and inspire others, giving them the permission to be real too.

© 2004-08 DailyOM - All Rights Reserved
From dailyom.com



May you be comfortable discarding your mask, even if it's only with a few people. May you have friends/family who are comfortable in discarding their masks.

May you give yourself permission to be real.

No go

The esophageal/gastric/duodenal endoscope I was supposed to have yesterday didn't happen because my blood was still too thin. Grrrrr! The surgeon's nurse called me today to say they're either going to get me into another surgeon or she has "another idea" to get me in next week.

Would someone please tell me why I allot two months for things when all my doctors wait to do everything in my last 2-3 weeks here? ::sigh::

Something to think about

As seen on lupabitch's LJ (thank you for letting me snag):

Indeed, there would be no hatred of others without hatred of self. If we truly felt good about ourselves, we would have no interest in wasting precious life energy resenting or attacking anyone. The urge to blame others arises only out of feeling bad about ourselves, which originally developed out of not feeling truly seen or honored by other people. Self-hatred is the hidden underbelly of all violence and nastiness in the world.

--John Welwood, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart, p. 97

ZOMBIE WANT BRAINS!!!

As received in an email from Elizabeth C.:

ZombieHarmony -- because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely.



And to go with it, a couple of memes from Kender:

Your result for The Zombie Apocalypse Personality Test...

The Accomplice

84% Aggression and 48% Leadership!

You are the Accomplice. While preferring to let others lead, your aggressive outlook means that any Zombie crossing your path is going to have a very bad day. While people with more passive roles will only have mixed luck looking to you for guidance, you make a perfect complement to Slayers, Assassins, and Strategists.

Take The Zombie Apocalypse Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for Zombie Evolution/Human De-evolution...

Professor

14% Knowledge and 12% Skill!

You know just what to do when the first person turns. You even warned everyone this was coming. With your vast knowledge of the undead your sure to be the leader of your group. Don't shrink under the pressure just be sure you have your plan ready.

Take Zombie Evolution/Human De-evolution at HelloQuizzy

Fun

Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: BLUE: The Social Butterfly

31% Red, 40% Blue, 26% White and 3% Yellow!

Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.

BLUE MOTIVE: Intimacy

BLUE NEEDS: To be good (morally), To be understood, To be appreciated, Acceptance.

BLUE WANTS: To reveal insecurities, Quality, Autonomy, Secuirity.

SUMMARY: Blues are motivated by altruism. They love to do nice things for others. they look for opportunites to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Blues seek intimacy. They want to be loved and to love. A true blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Blues crave being understood. They are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. Blues may have thier hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love. Blues are directed by a strong moral conscience. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgements, and their leisure time. A blue would rather lose than cheat. Ethically, blues are people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.

Take The Color Code Test at HelloQuizzy

Howdy from the Hole

Nothing exciting to report. Needing to up my self-discipline a bit to get these fish measured. Finished the Stephen King novel Duma Key. Watched "Doctor Who" tonight and am pretty excited about next week's ep with Rose, Martha, Jack, and the Torchwood crew in attendance (at least, I think I saw Gwen in the preview).

That's it. Boring ol' me. ::grin::

Because -- as my pal said -- all the COOL kids are doing it

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Free Agent

You like to be independent, to play by your own rules. You're not terribly interested in finding a partner and settling down, and it makes you nervous to imagine that someone might depend on you for anything. Were you to find the right partner--someone as independent as you, probably--you'd not be too put out about sharing your adventures with him/her.

Fictional characters with whom you might identify: Han Solo (Star Wars), Beatrice ("Much Ado About Nothing")

Other Attachment Types:
Secure:	The Unicorn	|	The Cuddleslut	|	The Free Agent
Preoccupied:	The Cling Wrap	|	The Squid	|	The Insect
Fearful:	The Doormat	|	The Leper	|	The Exile
Dismissing:	The Hermit	|	The Stone	|	The Player
Confused:	The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Suppose there's a reason I love those characters, eh?

How about a few more? It's MEME MADNESS!!!

Your result for The Classic Dames Test...

Katharine Hepburn

You scored 17% grit, 19% wit, 71% flair, and 10% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Take The Classic Dames Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test...

Quentin Tarantino

Your film will be 49% romantic, 26% comedy, 46% complex plot, and a $ 39 million budget.

Wow! What a life you have led thus far! Action-packed, anti-social with probably dark humor. Quentin hasn't really made many films, but each successive one is a bigger and grander project ... and more violent. Karate CHOP! Your life story will probably star Michael Madsen, Uma Thurman, or some TV or movie star from the 1980s for which your film will be the comeback -- let's say Emilio Estevez. Maybe. Quentin's short directing resume includes Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2.

Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test...

Tara Maclay

45% amorality, 27% passion, 91% spirituality, 64% selflessness

What a woman! (Or man, as it may be...)



Tara is a moral, centered, spiritual and selfless person... rather, I suspect, like you. People like this make those around them love them.



Congratulations! (and stay away from windows, just in case)



If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:



Nerds, Geeks & Dorks



Professional Wrestling



Love & Sexuality




America/Politics




Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST

Take The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test...

Ceiling Cat

27% Affectionate, 38% Excitable, 44% Hungry

You are a master of stealth. They never see you coming. But you always see them coming. HEY-O!



To see all possible results, checka dis.

Take The Which Lolcat Are You? Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Which X-Man Are You Test...

JEAN GREY!!!

Holy crap! You are:

Has some serious potential as a fighter, but is far too busy playing around and breaking hearts to care. I bet she's a slut, too. Oh, but she's also the Phoenix, and can ruin someone's shit at the drop of a hat. Once she learns to control it, that is.

Take The Which X-Man Are You Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

5 - the Observer

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE (aka "The Thinker").

"I need to understand the world"

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical,
and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.



• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.



• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.



• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that
  I am feeling uncomfortable.



• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your
  sincerity.



• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because
  it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.



• don't come on like a bulldozer.



• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music,
  overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a FIVE

• standing back and viewing life objectively



• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects



• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure



• not being caught up in material possessions and status



• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a FIVE

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world



• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all



• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be



• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or
  technical skill, do better professionally

FIVEs as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on



• have a few special friends rather than many



• are very bright and curious and do well in school



• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
  



• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information



• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid



• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict



• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

FIVEs as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted



• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding



• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
  



• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?

so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?

so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...



...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BZ

Would you rather have chosen:

AZ (THREE)

CZ (ONE)

BX (NINE)

BY (FOUR)

Dreaming and Memorials

I had the strangest dream of buying jewelry this morning. I was looking at seahorse earrings carved entirely of amber and getting irritated that they were so expensive. There were some bronze ones that were cheaper, but I didn't want them because I knew they'd tangle in my hair. There were turtle/tortoise rings also made of bronze that I was considering. Late in the dream, I went to slip a silver band of leaves on my left ring finger, and I saw an elephant head carved from bone already there. The ends of its ears were broken off, and that made me sad.

I'm probably getting a stylized turtle tattoo this afternoon as a memorial for my sister. I found this one online and knew it was perfect:



On mine, the shell knot will be yellow while the leg bands, eyes, and tail will be orange -- Stacy's favorite colors. The toenails of each foot will be different colors (one color for each foot) -- red, yellow, black, and white -- for the Lakota medicine wheel. In the months before her death, Stacy was becoming more and more interested in our Scottish/Celtic and Lakota heritages, and turtle was her primary totem. I almost have this feeling my sister is trying to bind turtle to me.

I'm also going to get a line or two of one of Paul's poems for his memorial. I don't think I'll get it today, but definitely before I go back to NO. This is the poem I've chosen -- it's one I've carried with me for a long time:

Words Never Spoken

Love never sought can never be found,
Through the storm raging beyond and within.
Quiet yourself and wonder how
My words remain with you long after
The sound has fled away. When all is still
Except your thundering soul; Look beyond
The fears your mind contrives to send
Your heart to distract: Listen to my words
Never spoken, but silently heard to
Engage your heart in this glorious meaning
To this life, often meaningless.

100 Book Meme -- as found on Shiva's blog

According to The Big Read, the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books on this list.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE. (note: I will put a * next to the ones I love since I forgot how to code underlining)

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (started)
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series******* - JK Rowling (that's a "love" for each book)
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (not all, though)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials* - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare* (again, not all)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (started it)
16. The Hobbit* - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (twice -- hated it both times)
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath* - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (started)
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (Magician's Nnephew, Lioon)
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe* - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code* - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood (started)
49. Lord of the Flies* - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune* - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (started)
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities* - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (started)
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula* - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes* - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (started)
98. Hamlet* - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

We Are The Ones

We Are The Ones

You have been telling the people,
That this is the eleventh hour.
Now, you must go and tell the people,
That THIS is the hour,
And there are things to be considered.

Where are you living? What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in the right relationship?
Where is your water?

Know your garden ...

It is time to speak your truth.
Create your community,
Be good to each other.
Do not look outside yourself for a leader.

There is a river flowing now very fast,
It is so great and swift.
That there are those who will be afraid,
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being pulled apart,
And will suffer greatly.

Understand that the river knows its destination,
The elders say we must let go of the shore.
Push off into the middle of the river,
Keep our eyes open and our heads above water.

And I say; see who is in there with you,
Hold fast to them and celebrate!

At this time in history,
We are to take nothing personally.
Least of all, ourselves!
For the moment we do,
Our spiritual growth and journey comes to an end.

The time of the Lone Wolf is over!

Gather yourselves!

Banish the word 'struggle' from
Your attitude and vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done,
In a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are all about to go on a journey,
We are the ones we have been waiting for!

Thomas Banyacya Sr. (1910-1999);
Speaker of the Wolf, Fox and Coyote Clan
Elder of the Hopi Nation

Long time, no post

Rather than duplicating, just head over to my disability blog.

As stolen from Natey

Your fate with the Doctor
Your name?
You describe yourself as a...?	RomanticIdealistDreamerEgotisticalPessimistOptimist
Favourite colour?	RedOrangeYellowGreenBluePurpleBrownBlackOther
How did you meet the Doctor?	You were orphaned, he was lonely, and it was a perfect match. He brought you on board the TARDIS so that neither of you would have to face the awful loneliness.
How much does the Doctor care for you? - 67%
Does he love you?	(8) - Better not tell you. - (8)
Do you love him?	(8) - My sources say no. - (8)
How many years will you travel with him?	5884
How will you die?	You will die valiantly trying to protect and save the Doctor, and he will hold you in his arms as you die.
This fun quiz by Lady_Boromir - Taken 293 Times.

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!

Still no Internet at home. Hopefully I can update on Saturday.

Grrrrrrrrrr!

I can't use my Internet at home, either because of a software problem or a bad ethernet card/port. Since the boss man won't be in tomorrow morning, I'll try to take some time to update you.

Indy! Indy! Indy!

I'm waiting on my friends to get here so we can go see Indy. Since I'm anxious and ready to go, they're running late. Sometimes you just want to punch Murphy in the head, don't ya?

I'm trying not to have any expectations for the movie after reading that Lucas thinks all the fans will hate it. Of course, this was the same article in which he whined about people calling him out on his directing of Star Wars Episodes I-III. I think he's just cranky that his isn't the only studio that can put out great special effects anymore. I always thought he had an over-inflated ego.

The First Time

My "nephew" Cylis crawled for the first time today -- a belly crawl, but he moved forward rather than backward or even in a circle. The best part was he did it at my apartment.

He's growing so quickly.

Uneventful Day

Today I went up to the lab in the morning to change destaining solution on fish as well as give Carla, my assistant, instructions on which "old" fish to cull and how to do it.

I spent the afternoon dozing and editing Kender's Torchwood fanfic -- if none of my stuff will write, I might as well beta for someone who's stories will write.

Tonight, I watched an episode of Nova titled "The Lord of the Ants" about Harvard's Dr. Edward O. Wilson, a.k.a. my god of biology. Of the 600+ known species of ants, he has described about half. He also helped develop the hypothesis of island biogeography (which discusses extinctions on and repopulation of islands and then extrapolates that to how much land area is REALLY needed to maintain species of interest), was attacked for his idea of sociobiology, and is extremely active in conservation arenas. I own a number of his books, but there are two I cannot afford that I want badly: The Ants (co-authored with Bert Holldobler, won a Pulitzer Prize) with a cover price of about $80, and Pheidole of the New World with a cover price of about $140. The latter contains reproductions of Dr. Wilson's sketches for each species.

So, not a particularly active day, but not hum-drum either. Back to my beta duties.

Aggravations

Last night, I discovered through inadvertant eavesdropping that one of my PCAs will be gone for a two week period I did not expect. I am already having trouble replacing attendants who are leaving (either temporarily or permanently), so this is yet another headache I don't need.

I woke up this morning with asthma-related coughing, thus I knew it was going to be a muggy day. No sitting outside on the patio today.

My latest shipment of fish has started to die. Of 40, there are approximately 15 left. So if you're keeping track, that's approximately 40 fish remaining out of about 330 received over the last two and a half months. I. Am. Not. Happy.

My uncle was in a motorcycle accident today on his way home for lunch. A car pulled out in front of him, and he was flipped over the car when he hit it. No head trauma and no internal injuries, but his leg is broken in four places. He should be in surgery as I type this.

Procrastinate! And take your friends down with you!

So this morning I was sleeping, getting rid of my Benadryl hangover, when suddenly I notice it's 9:44 a.m.

9:44 a.m.???

Now, you might think that sleeping until 9:44 on a Sunday isn't sleeping in enough, but ever since my bladder decided it really hates to go more than seven hours without peeing, well, that means I usually sleep about seven hours a night. My attendant should've been here at about 8:30, 9:00 at the latest. That's when I remembered . . .

I had forgotten to finalize my arrangement for this morning's attendant.

Translation = I forgot to ask Kim to get me up.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I've been doing this since I was 20 -- that's almost 17 years of coordinating ups, downs, showers, pees, errands, laundry, and cooking. How could I just forget?

I called Kim three times with no answer, then I caught my friend Erika lolling around in her bed and enjoying a lazy Sunday. She came over and got me up, then I managed to talk her in to being a lazy bum and hanging out with me.

::whispers out of side of mouth:: I didn't exactly have to break her arm. ::smiles at Erika::

Truth be told, we had every intention of working at the coffeeshop. I took A Genetical Theory of Natural Selection and E took her laptop and work stuff. I read part of my book, and she read the paper. Then I read her magazine, and she continued to read the paper. Then we decided to check out the happenings at Washington Square Park since we could hear music. They were having an art fair, and there was lots of great stuff for sale -- at one point E said to me, "Thank God I don't have any money on me." I totally agreed. There was painting, photography, clothing, quilting, knitting. There was soap and trinket boxes (I told the lady I'd give her my Altoids boxes) and poppets and art made out of salvaged wood and metal. It was all New Orleanians, and it embodied a small taste of our local talent.

Next, we wandered over to the French Market to see our good friend Lalo. He makes and sells jewelry of stones, crystals, and either silver or copper wire. I noticed today he's expanded into leather bracelets which he embellishes with stones and wire. I bought a little something for one friend north of the border and a beaded bracelet for myself. I asked Lalo if he'd help me make some earrings and a ring out of some of my Botswana agate, and he cheerfully agreed. Such a sweet guy, and such awesome jewelry.

After our visit, E and I decided we ought to start heading back for me to come home. We were distracted one more time, however, by E's friend Jack who makes jaw-dropping art by cutting paper. These are NOT the paper snowflakes we were taught to make in school. I found one piece I really liked, but since I'd just bought stuff from Lalo, I couldn't justify spending more.

That piece, and Jack asking me the family name for seahorses and pipefishes (which I could actually spout off the top of my head), prompted a bout of silliness on the way back to my apartment.

E: What's the family name for mermaids?

Me: There isn't one, goof ball. They're creatures of legend, and no one classifies creatures of legend.

E: There should be. ::pause:: Let's make one up! What comes first?

Me: Kingdom. Clearly, they're Animalia.

E: What's next?

Me: Phylum. Chordata.

E: When do we get to family? What's the family of our fantastical mermaid?

Me: In a minute. We have to do class. Hmmm, that's a hard one. Do we classify them as fish or mammals?

E: I say mammals. They look more like humans than fish.

Me: And they have mammary glands. OK, class Mammalia. Now order. How about Fantastiformes?

E: Did you make that up?

Me: Yes.

E: You're awesome.

Me: Well, the suffix "-formes" goes with order. I didn't make that up, and you gave me the idea for the rest when you said fantastical. Now family.

E: Mer--, mermaid . . . .

Me: Mermaididae.

E: I like it. Now what?

Me: Genus and species. They're usually in Latin.

::much pondering::

E: What's Latin for "naked top"?

Me: Dunno. Never taken Latin. ::thinking:: We're just making this up, so why not pig Latin?

E: Sounds good. Aked-nay. Op-tay. Akednaopta.

Me: Groovy. We could do species after your last name since you thought of classifying them. Akednaopta sugimorii.

E: We can do that?

Me: Yup.

E (making a turn): Are you going to remember all this?

Me: Sure. And we'll write it down, and you can share it with Jack when you go back to get your picture.


And this, my friends, is how you turn an otherwise productive Sunday into relaxation and amusement for two wacky friends.

In an effort to blog more . . .

. . . I'm going to set a goal of writing at least a small something every day.

Today, my friend Erika helped me get out of bed. She's one of my best friends here, but we never get to see each other because of our schedules. She'd had her coffee before coming over, so she was bouncing off the walls. I had taken a Lortab before going to bed, so I was not bouncing off the walls. We still have a good time.

I did a meditation over the phone with a friend to discover one of my animal guides. With the meditation, the first animal you see is supposed to be your birth totem unless it appears in some kind of unusual way -- like last time I did this, the animal I saw was not in front of me but approached from behind and on the right, so therefore he is my right totem, the protector of my masculine energies.

Today, I saw two animals. The first peeked out at me from the forest but withdrew when I showed such surprise at seeing him. He eventually came back out after I relaxed. I'm not sure this animal is my birth totem because of him pulling back and hiding, but then again, he could've pulled back because I essentially rejected him. The more I think about it, though, the more I think this guy might be quite fitting. He's unusual, not what anyone would expect to see. I'm unusual (oh hush, KM), and I like to think I'm not what people would expect. So why not Walrus?

The second animal was a bald eagle who perched directly overhead -- my above totem. When I returned to my cave, the "me" space we use to start the meditation, both Walrus and Eagle came with me. Walrus went down for a swim, and Eagle perched above the cave entrance. Inside was my friend from my last meditation -- Lion, curled up and looking quite lazy and content.

Afterwards, my ex-roommate came over to help me use the restroom and make lunch. She showed me some of her pictures from her Ireland trip. She even gave me three -- one slightly blurry night scene of Dublin, a cemetary shot with a Celtic cross headstone central, and a country bridge over tannin-stained water.

I was supposed to interview a potential attendant, but she never showed. I can't remember if I was supposed to call her to tell her when to come over or if we truly had decided on 2:30 or 3:00. Either way, I fell asleep and stayed that way from about 3:15 until 5:45 when Marlo called me to open the gate. My neck hurts now.

After a supper of chicken breast sauted in pesto and mixed with penne and alfredo sauce, I watched an episode of "Highlander" and since have futzed around on the computer. Or is that phutzed? ::shrugs::

I leave you tonight with this. Five more days! ::hums Indy theme::

Congratulations Lynlee, Naomi, and Pauley

I watched two WSU graduations today via webcast. At 1530 was the Fairmount College of Liberal Arts and Sciences ceremony which I watched for two reasons -- Paul was posthumously being awarded his master of arts in English literature, and Lynlee was being awarded her bachelor of arts in _____ (please fill in the blank, L). Women's studies? Then at 1900, Naomi received her MA in communication sciences and disorders from the College of Health Professions.

Lynlee -- You are one of the most amazing women I know. You put yourself through school while raising your incredible child on your own AND birthing four beautiful babies to start three families. And you still got your BA in five years. Superwoman? I think so. Love you, and thanks for "whooping."

Nay -- You are another one of the most amazing women I know. Remember those days when you used to say you were scared of going to college, mainly because of algebra? Remember how you used to say the honor cords were for "brainiacs" like me, that you'd never graduate with one? Then two years ago, not only did you graduate with your BA, you did it with that gold cord around your neck. Remember also how you used to say you'd NEVER get a masters? Now look at you -- graduated and hooded and ready to be a "for real" speech pathologist. I'm beyond proud of you. I love you.

Pauley -- I know I don't need to say that I would've preferred to have seen you go across that stage rather than Mom and Dad. Mere words can't convey the joy and pain I felt watching them go up to accept your diploma, but I don't need words since now you can read my heart as easily as you used to read Shakespeare, Chaucer, and Donne. I love you.

Swiped from Anita

Which Torchwood Character Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ianto Jones You are a very secretive person, try opening up to your friends and they'll help you get through. Learn to trust yourself, and the people around you. But remember not to let them take advantage of you. Ianto Jones 73% Weevil 67% Toshiko Sato 67% Gwen Cooper 60% Suzie Costello 40% Owen Harper 20%

Crazy fangirl squee

OK, so I already knew I love CBS because every show I watch is there except for Doctor Who, Stargate Atlantis, EUReKA, and Dirty Jobs. But tonight, as I pulled up their show menu to see if Friday's Moonlight has been posted (I recorded it while I watched DW, but my tape broke this morning after watching CSI), I saw a section off to the side labeled TV Classics. When what should my wandering eyes perceive but . . .

MACGYVER!

I clicked the link, and lo and behold! Choirs of angels began to sing as I saw . . .

Full episodes. All of them. Every eppy, every season.

Don't believe me? Check it out.

::hums happily as disappears into MacGyver cyberspace::

Because . . .

1. I need cheering up.

2. My Celtic genes have been calling to me of late.

3. It's Monday -- and who couldn't use a good reel on a Monday?

I present to you one of my fiddling heroes -- Mairead Nesbitt.

It makes me sad

A friend of one of my dearest NO friends was recently kidnapped, held for four days, brutally beaten, and most likely raped. She is in the hospital as I type this, and she has no idea why. She was beaten so badly that she has no recollection of what happened and thus doesn't know/remember who did this to her. She has no short term memory, and her face has been (quite probably) permanently rearranged. The doctors had to put her eye back in its socket.

M. suspects it was a hate crime. You see, her friend is a hermaphrodite.

It's occurrences like this that make me laugh bitterly when people call humans advanced, more evolved, civilized. I don't even have words for what I'm feeling. Why -- WHY -- do people have to be so afraid of someone different than themselves? We treasure diversity in our environment, in our diets, in most things in our lives, but we hate/fear it in our neighbors, coworkers, even our families.

"Did you hear? Cousin L. married a black man." (::gasp::)

"Oh, so the boy you're taking to the prom is Catholic?" (Armageddon is upon us!)

"Why don't you cut your hair? What? You some kinda hippie faggot?" (The horror!)

"Goddamn cripples. Why do they get to park up close?" (Just to irritate you)

What the hell did that poor woman ever do to the people who took her? And keeping her for four days?

I can't even type about it anymore.

New pal links

The links are new, but my pal is old. As in we've been friends for a long time. Seriously. *grin*

Brian in fact has two new blogs. "Ruminations of Thunder" is his storm-chasing page. Yeah, he actually goes looking for tornadoes. "That Damn Dash" is his writing page. I don't know if he'll post any of his writing, but he'll definitely post his frustrations about writing.

Welcome to the blogosphere, B.

Happy birthday, Paul

I miss you, little brother.

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

Only within the moment of time represented by the present century has one species -- man -- acquired significant power to alter the nature of his world. (Rachel Carson, Silent Spring)

It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation of her beauties to know of wonder and humility. (Rachel Carson, Silent Spring)


HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!




© All rights reserved L'imperatrice Nocturne
original photo at flickr.com/photos/hecatelives/421082836/

Go to this artist's page and see what other beautiful treasures await you there!

Geeks with Cats

I found this to be incredibly amusing. And yes, my parents engage in corporal cuddling with their cats.

Science squee

Wednesday my advisor and I snuck into an environmental hormone conference. I know, we're quite the rebels. By "snuck" I mean we attended two lectures without paying a registration fee. It turned out not to be so Mission Impossible because Barney knew enough people that no one would suspect him or think he was out of place. And me being his student . . . well, you know.

Barney had sent me an email Monday evening when he found out about the conference, and he ended the email with, "Tyrone Hayes will be speaking."

First, let me mention that environmental stressors that act as endocrine disruptors have interested me since I read my first alligator feminization paper by Lou Guillette (who was also there -- ::squees::). That alone might have induced me to put on my sneaking tires.

But the chance to hear the infamous Tyrone Hayes of UC-Berkeley speak? What time are you picking me up?

In the world of environmental toxicology, you do not hear Dr. Hayes's name without the words "atrazine" and "Syngenta" following soon after. Dr. Hayes has spent years gathering evidence that the herbicide atrazine has feminizing effects on frogs. Since atrazine is one of my stressors (chosen, I admit, because of its contentiousness) and I am at least going to look at male:female ratio, I naturally have an interest in Dr. Hayes's work. Not to mention he just looks like underneath that "how ya doing?" smile he's a troublemaker. It's true. Look at the picture.

It was awesome. Not only does Dr. Hayes do interesting science, but he's an engaging speaker as well. He deals with the press a lot, so he opened his talk with a request that we always remember that we (scientists) work for and with the public (especially when trying to get a chemical banned), and all our brilliant work is for nothing if the public can't understand what we do. His Powerpoint slides are made to be multi-purpose -- with sufficient data to be used with a scientist but easy for anyone without a science background to understand.

Afterwards, I got to chat with him for a little bit. I went back to the van a happy scientist. I can't say "went home" a happy scientist because by the time we got to the apartment Barney had me so stressed I wanted to scream. More on that later -- after I get my back up, tell Barney "no," and can give you the full story.

::happy gimp dancing::

I'm going to see "The Vagina Monologues"!!!

I'm going to see "The Vagina Monologues"!!!

I'm going to see "The Vagina Monologues"!!!

TONIGHT!!!

FOR FREE!!!

I'm so freaking excited!!!

Cuteness factor 10

Check out this video about rehabilitation of the greater one-horned rhinoceros (Indian rhinoceros, Rhinoceros unicornis) in India. I just want to kiss her little nubbin horn!!!

Stress, stress, and more stress

1. Mysterious headaches every few days -- stabbing pain in the same spot every time.

2. Even more mysterious bouts of random sleepiness where I literally fight to keep my eyes open. It feels like I've been given a sedative, but of course I haven't.

3. The resurfacing fear of a neurogenic bladder.

4. Back to trying to find a weekend morning PCA because the one I hired about a month ago is now "indisposed due to mental health issues." Haven't heard anymore. I hope she's OK.

5. Trying to get my lovely assistants to find time to help me take fish pictures. One is less than a month from graduating, and my project is not high on her list of priorities. Totally understandable, but there have been a couple of days where I don't feel like the fish and I made the list at all.

6. Speaking of fish, approximately 200 or so of the 240+ I bought about a month ago are dead. No, not on purpose.

I need to solve some problems before my telogen effluvium comes back. Unfortunately, three of them can only be fully addressed at home, and July is just under three months away.

Go Hawks!!!

I guess KU pretty much spanked Roy Williams's butt. That'll teach him to bail on a bunch of Jayhawks.

I'm not much for basketball, but it's exciting when a home state team -- ANY home state team -- gets into the NCAA final round. I will be wearing red and blue on Monday for sure.

It's official

NKOTB is back together -- have been since August. See the Today Show clips.

I wish Stacy and Gina were still here. We'd all have to go to the concert together like we did in high school.

No one sent me the email

Clearly, hell has frozen over and no one informed me. From the NYTimes:


Southern Baptists Back a Shift on Climate Change
By NEELA BANERJEE
Published: March 10, 2008

Signaling a significant departure from the Southern Baptist Convention's official stance on global warming, 44 Southern Baptist leaders have decided to back a declaration calling for more action on climate change, saying its previous position on the issue was "too timid."

The largest denomination in the United States after the Roman Catholic Church, the Southern Baptist Convention, with more than 16 million members, is politically and theologically conservative.

Yet its current president, the Rev. Frank Page, signed the initiative, "A Southern Baptist Declaration on the Environment and Climate Change." Two past presidents of the convention, the Rev. Jack Graham and the Rev. James Merritt, also signed.

"We believe our current denominational engagement with these issues has often been too timid, failing to produce a unified moral voice," the church leaders wrote in their new declaration.

A 2007 resolution passed by the convention hewed to a more skeptical view of global warming.

In contrast, the new declaration, which will be released Monday, states, "Our cautious response to these issues in the face of mounting evidence may be seen by the world as uncaring, reckless and ill-informed."

The document also urges ministers to preach more about the environment and for all Baptists to keep an open mind about considering environmental policy.

Jonathan Merritt, the spokesman for the Southern Baptist Environment and Climate Initiative and a seminarian at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, N.C., said the declaration was a call to Christians to return to a biblical mandate to guard the world God created.

The Southern Baptist signatories join a growing community of evangelicals pushing for more action among believers, industry and politicians. Experts on the Southern Baptist Convention noted the initiative marked the growing influence of younger leaders on the discussions in the Southern Baptist Convention.

While those younger Baptists remain committed to fight abortion, for instance, the environment is now a top priority, too.

"In no way do we intend to back away from sanctity of life," said the Rev. Dr. Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, Ala.

Still, many powerful Southern Baptist leaders and agencies did not sign the declaration, including the convention's influential political arm, the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission.

Dr. Barrett Duke, vice president for public policy at the commission, played down the differences between the declaration and the Southern Baptist Convention's position.

The declaration says in fact that lack of scientific unanimity should not preclude "prudent action," which includes changing individual habits and giving "serious consideration to responsible policies that effectively address" global warming.

The declaration is the outgrowth of soul-searching by Mr. Merritt, 25. The younger Mr. Merritt said that for years he had been "an enemy of the environment." Then, he said, he had an epiphany.

"I learned that God reveals himself through Scripture and in general through his creation, and when we destroy God's creation, it's similar to ripping pages from the Bible," Mr. Merritt said.

As if there weren't days where I feel old . . .

. . . there comes a rumor that New Kids on the Block might be getting back together.

The New Kids. NKOTB. Yes, I listened to them. Yes, I went to one of their concerts. Yes, I had a crush on Jordan.

Them were the days:




And today:



Joey: Still a baby face but actually DID grow up. Had my doubts in '88. Figured he'd always look 12.

Jon: Now YOU are the hot Knight.

Donnie: You weren't tough then, and you ain't tough now. How's it feel that your brother is more famous than you?

Jordan: Still cute, but not as much.

Danny: You did and still do look like you work out 50 hours a day.


They were my generation's Backstreet Boys. We thought they were so cute and had the best moves. They WERE cute, but best moves? Mmmmmmmm . . . probably not so much: